Convoluted Thoughts and a Pep-Talk

I have trouble communicating my thought process. This is because at any given instance, I'm could be having a three way argument, filibuster, or random memory recall. I don't always think in English or spoken words. (I was SO relieved when I met other people who do this.)

Telling a story set my 'inner world' is convoluted, and not my strong point. However, practice makes perfect. So I ask my readers (all ten plus Mum) to bear with me.

This is a story about self-doubt, table-top RPGs, and time management.

While developing my author 'brand,' I researched what other successful (a.k.a. paid) writers do. It's very impressive. They blog, they write, they get involved with their local and online peers. They visit workshops, write freelance, or even start writer's groups.

However, I noticed something a bit worrying. Most of them are some form of teacher/editor/etc. Basically, they're all part of the Highly Educated class.

I'm not Highly Educated. My dream career out of high school was watchmaking and micro-technologies. Later, I studied environmental engineering. Forces, electrons, heat exchange. I trained my brain to hunt and measure. My humanities classes focused on how to respectfully tell a supervisor that they're about to poison a lot of people. -_-;

My lack of 'bardic' training isn't a true obstacle; I have stories to share. What does bother me is inefficiency. I can't just copy and paste 'how so-and-so became writer' into my life. I'm stuck tweaking and experimenting.

Now, in science problems have a single 'true' answer. However, the method to find it matters. Efficiency is the difference between finishing four questions on an calculus exam versus six. I want the most and best I can get for my efforts. (I'm very greedy that way.)

I'm also painfully aware of my handicaps – experience, money, connections. I look at other writers, artists, and musicians and realize I know so little about the community and industry. I feel like a causal jogger dumped into the Olympics.

...why did I ever think Trilby'Bard' was a good username? 'Bard' is like the storyteller's version of Sensei. Anyone can claim it, but few live it. (Cue the self-doubt and wave of second guessing.)

While trying to poke my ego back into working order, my ever-busy mind pulls up an alternate file on bard – the D&D character class. 

“You aren't a well-built bard, not by any playbook,” my inner gamer lectures. “You've got three levels of Scientist. Those don't reroll in real life. Neither do that crap Constitution score or situational Charisma penalty.”

Rub my nose in it much? :'(

“Are you or aren't you the woman played a mixed World of Darkness Campaign from start to finished with a vanilla human?” I correct myself. “Numbers and min-max builds don't mean squat. Apply some of that creativity to this multi-class problem of yours.”

Uhm, gaming mechanics don't apply to switching careers.

“New core skills to pick up, changed focus in stat development, different 'feats,'” the gamer tics off points, “Equipment needs an overall, you need to plan new encounter tactics, plus increase your reputation to qualify for high level quests... that's simple stuff.”

...I'm I really comparing socializing to a dungeon crawl?

“And how did we survive those?” I grin at the memories. “While everyone lawyers the dice higher and higher, you pull out 'uncommon sense.' Silver dust bombs for werewolves. Keep a personal 'McGuyver bag' separate from the bulky camping pack. Don't get greedy. Don't assume. Don't forget the Evil Overlord list. Come on, it's not like you're dealing with a cranky GM out to bump off that player. You just have to plan for bad dice rolls.”

Several more cheesy references later, my brain settled down enough to plan.

While I'm technically a level 5 Character overall, I'm not a level 5 bard like the authors I researching. I need to start simple - how manage my time like a writer.

Unlike college, where they make you take a dull seminar on planning out a 'student week,' I have to develop a workable pattern myself.  Blocking out a chunk of time to type is only half the battle.  It's no good if I'm too tired or stressed. Writing has to become my lifestyle focus.

Thus is written in The Book of Five Rings,

“The true science of martial arts cannot be attained by a mastery of only swordsmanship. Knowing the small by way of the great, one goes from the swallow to the deep.”

 ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ Enough from the peanut gallery, already. I'm trying to do time management stuff over here!

“I am thou. Thou art I” ;)