Overthinking: Mermaids (...and their male counterparts)

Mermaids are a fantasy staple. The charming, Atlantica princesses who romance sailors and their dark counterparts in Peter Pan who will 'sweetly drown you if you get too close,' they embody beauty and the mystery of the ocean.

Of course, my brain had to ruin the moment, “Why don't the human bits go all pruney from soaking in the water?” 

Much like the centaur question, this thought won't go away. If Tales of Mundus was to have any type of Merfolk, I needed for them to make sense. 

The more I thought about it, the more problems I found. Mundus is a situational comedy. A wandering Disney heroine won't make it three steps through the woods before tripping into a prickle bush or a hidden gofer hole. My merfolk need a proper epidermis to put up with sand, silt, litter and toothy creatures.

Unfortunately, the first scaleless fish I thought of was the catfish. They are smooth; they're also snotty. (Not to be confused with snooty) The attractiveness of a mermaid princess with a protective coat of mucus is well below sea-level.

Shark skin is a bit better. It looks smooth and counts for the exotic factor. Texture wise though, sharks are rougher to the touch than humans.

So I turned to aquatic mammals, dolphins and seals. However, the merfolk mystic still suffers when they're rubbery to the touch or covered in a waterproof fur, respectively. Whales are reported to have a very smooth skin. (Apparently the bumps and barnacles develop like teen acne.)

I can work with shark or whale skinned merfolk. However, my runnaway brain isn't done nitpicking. The next target - hair.  (T_T)

My personal experience from swimming with long, loose hair is that it's a tangle hazard. To make Ariel's flowing locks work, I'd have to design Mundus merfolk with 'hair' that's a semi-responsive collection of micro-tentacles, like jelly fish.

Eye lashes and eyebrows are yet another problem. They're not as effective at protecting an underwater eye. However, a ingratiating membrane, like frogs have, pushes mermaids from exotic to creepy and alien.

I feel like I'm playing Frankenstein. However, just can't make the classic mermaid make sense. It's not a functional for life in Mundus. My merfolk need to hunt and farm, build fish traps, trade with land dwellers for refined metal tools, plus develop arts and written language. Yes, they're just side characters, but this is a functioning civilization! 

…somedays, my brain doesn't just follow the overthinker stereotype. No, it sticks a marshal hat and baton on the stereotype and gleefully plays 'Oom-pah! Oom-pah!” with a full band. (-_-;)